It would be easy,
Oh! so easy to let it in,
to drop my guard and let it push aside the light,
to rush into the halls and common rooms
and drive the little brightness left
into the cupboards and the priestholes of my mind.

And how long would it be this time;
an hour, a day, a month?

A person can withstand the torture of an hour,
if they know rescue lies at hand.
A day? Well all those Sundays,
boring, wasted, funless days must have their use sometime.
But a month! A month of darkness!
I must fight to keep it out!

How dark this time?
The blues or bitter black?

The light blue of one's favourite team
a record tenth straight loss.
Or darker blue, one's loved one,
seen in another's bed.
But not the black, bitter black, freezing black.
The black no tear marks,
the black no fist touches,
the black no cry or moan can raise to pity.
That blackness is the reason that I fight to keep the dark at bay.

Light my candles from your love
and place them in the corners of this room;
the one I have prepared to come to when all fails.
Here I shall fight to keep you with me,
to keep some light to see what lies outside,
to keep the dark away.

--
Alan Harding                                            [email protected]
 

====================
 

Alan--

I cannot be there with you in the physical sense,
but I am with you.

Concentrate, and you will feel my arms around you.

Don't cry alone.  Please let me cry with you.

The candles are in the corners, and I've lighted them
with my love, and they burn as brightly as that love,
driving the darkness away.

I'm there with you.  I won't leave you alone, and the
candles will not go out.  They will burn forever.

Don't let your guard down.

Please remember that you're not alone anymore.
I'm with you, always.  I will be with you, forever.

Together we can drive the darkness away.  Let me light
candles for you, as you have lighted them for me.
Let me help you.  Let me keep you safe from the darkness.

My tears will mark the black, and melt it away.

My fist will touch the black, and tear it to shreds for you,
to let in the light.

My heart hears your cries, your moans; the black cannot
keep you from me, nor I from you.

I am with you.  I have lighted the candles.
My arms are around you.  We huddle in the center of your
little room, our arms around each other like frightened
children.

Look out of the window; the sun is just beginning to rise.
Another day for me to love you.  Look out into the garden
and you'll see my spirit there.  Look within the circle of
your arms and you'll find me there too.  Feel my arms around
you, my breath warm on your wet cheek.

Hold me tightly.  Let me hold you.  I won't run away.
I won't disappear.  I will not leave you alone.

God Damn the darkness; it shall not prevail.  The very
gates of hell shall not prevail against our love.

I will never leave you.  I will love you forever.

You are the light that drives my own darkness back; you
are the sun that rises in the morning and chases my
ghosts away.

Nothing else matters but our love for each other.  Can you
hear me, in your little room?  Can you feel my lips against
your ear, and hear my whispered voice?

I love you.  I love you.  There is no power in heaven, or
on earth, or from hell that can separate us now.  We will be
together forever.  Not even death itself will separate us.

It will not be a month, or a week; it will not even be a
day of darkness, because we are together.  It doesn't matter
if your letters are floating somewhere like unborn children
waiting to be delivered.  It doesn't matter who shares my bed,
or yours.  The distance between us does not matter.
None of these things can break the connection between us.

My heart beats in your bosom, and yours in mine.  They--
and we--are joined by a cable woven of our love, a cable
that nothing can sever.  Yes, there is pain when one or
the other of us is pulled, or stumbles and falls.  But the
cable will never break.  If fate carried
you halfway around the world, or beyond the moon, we would
still be together, joined by the cable which cannot be broken.

I will love you for as long as I draw breath, and beyond.
And I trust and believe in your love for me.

I am yours.  Nothing will change that.
Nothing can change that.

I have your heart, and you have mine.

I am your wife, and will be forever.  You are my husband,
and will be forever.

And we will be together, not just for a week stolen
out of time, but for the rest of our lives.

Time is...
Time was...
Time is yet to come...

We have always been together...
We are together now...
We shall always be together...

I love you.  Lie quiet in my arms, as I lie in yours.
Close your eyes.

The candles will burn forever.
We will never be alone again.